neko-san's
WHAT WOULD YOU DO ???
Warning: contains violence
Here is a series of multiple choice questions which depict
hypothetical situations that a Jellicle may find themselves
in when confronted with an ACP (Anti-Cat Person).
Jellicles are often forced to associate with and live among ACPs
(Anti-Cat Persons) due to the fact that Jellicles are a minority,
and so just as important as knowing how to defend yourself against
an attacker, a true Jellicle should also prepare themselves
and consider what THEY would do when confronted with the
irrationality of an ACP (Anti-Cat Person).
You have accepted a ride home with an ACP in their car from
a social outing. He sees a cat who is in
a rapt contemplation while sitting on the side of the road, and
deliberately and successfully swerves to hit the cat. Do you :
a). Refuse to speak to him for the rest of the ride home
b). Go home & block his email address
c). Jump from the moving vehicle to help the cat
d). Reef the hand-brake on and break his kneecaps with something heavy
e). All of the above
You are walking down the street and you notice a parked car with a
bumper-sticker that reads: "Too Many Cats, Not Enough Recipes".
Do you :
a). Avert your eyes and continue walking
b). Leave an obscene note under their windscreen wiper (eg. "DIE SCUM!!!")
c). Take out a coin and leave a nice big scratch over the full length of the car
d). Slash their tyres
e). Same as (b), however attach the note to a brick and put it through the windscreen
f). All of the above except for (a).
You are telling a potential ACP how much you love cats. Their reply is: "I like cats
too. They taste like chicken." Do you :
a). Politely inform them of how offended you are
b). Cover your ears and scream.
c). Pull the lever which drops the 16 tonne weight on them
d). Release the tigers
You witness your next-door neighbour's 6 year old boy pull their cat's tail. Do you :
a). Console yourself with the fact that the cat might scratch him back.
b). Ask his parents to teach him how to respect animals properly
c). Kidnap their cat and give it to a loving and caring home
d). Detonate the 50 pounds of T.N.T. you have strapped to the boy's body
You see from your living room window a group of local schoolboys throwing rocks at your neighbour's cat. Do you :
a). Cluck your tongue a few times and continue watching the TV
b). Yell out at them to stop it
c). Contact their parents, their school and the police
d). Perform a dramatic dive-roll through the window with an explosion of breaking glass, grab the nearest vine and swing across the street, daringly rescuing the cat at the bottom of your swing
e). Utilise your AACPMDS (Anti-Anti-Cat Person Missile Defense System) which you have installed on your premises
Last Updated : 23rd September Y2K
All feedback is greatly appreciated!