neko-san's
 WHY CATS ARE BETTER THAN MEN
 (comedy)

Warning:
Contains feminism. Not to be read by males who like beer & footy.

Gender Disclaimer:
I am not a woman. I am actually a stupid male myself. And no, I am not gay either (not that there's anything wrong with that).

  1. Cats cover their business when they're finished, men prefer to leave it all over the toilet seat for other people to admire.

  2. A cat will not steal the doona in the middle of the night (although they do take up quite a large space on the bed for such small creatures).

  3. When a woman has a headache (most of the time) a cat is the remedy while a man is usually the cause. You will never hear a woman say "Not now, I've got a headache," to a cat.

  4. Even if a cat wanted to, it couldn't drink milk straight from the carton.

  5. A cat is an excellent "don't waste your time on this guy" detector in terms of new boyfriends.

  6. Cats are cuddly & do not get 5 o'clock shadows.

  7. A cat is a very reliable clock; when it is affectionate towards you, you know it is dinner time. (A man may confuse you, because there is another thing he may want too, and that could happen any time of the day).

  8. A cat will bring the day's catch (a mouse or a bird) home and present it to you in in act of loyalty, whereas a man will take the day's catch (his wages) and stash it in a secret bank account for use when he divorces you for his secretary.

  9. When a man brings you a present (that's if he actually does remember your anniversary) chances are he simply bought it from a shop. But when a cat leaves a prezzie for you in a dark corner of a room somewhere, you can be sure he made it himself. (Or herself).

  10. A cat does not need to have a pack lunch or ironed shirts each day.

  11. Cats actually wash themselves.

  12. Cats never have cold feet in bed.

  13. Cats do not flatuate in bed (well, not as much as men anyway, and the bedclothes usually remain intact).

  14. Cats never sleep in & will always wake you up in time for breakfast.

  15. Cats have personality.

  16. A cat can make you feel better with just one sleepy-eyed look.

  17. Cats have no problem with just snuggling.

  18. Cats have their own hit musical dedicated to them.

  19. A cat involves less maintenance than a man, and is a lot cheaper to own.

  20. Cats do not get ugly, wrinkly, saggy and droopy in their old age.

  21. Cats have brains

  22. Cats don't get drunk all the time

  23. Cats have dignity

  24. Cats command respect and actually deserve it too

  25. Cats do not sexually harrass girls (well, not very much anyway)

  26. Cats do not insist on watching 3 footy games in a row on TV

  27. Cats are usually actually appreciated by their owners

  28. Cats do not do botchy painting jobs or brick work that falls down later on

  29. Cats have relatively less lethal bad breath (usually, not always)

Last updated: 23rd September Y2K
All feedback is greatly appreciated !!!

neko-san
e-meow: sleepy_neko@hotmail.com